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STARPoint #8 Don't Let Your Past Color Your Future

Are you letting your past color your future? Are you assuming, even anticipating the not so happy things that happened in your past will show up in your future? That's what my friend Vince Toran asked me the other day.

I was talking to Vince about my daughter, Xanthia. At 10 years old, Xanthia thinks I am the best, funniest, most wonderful person in the world. And I got to tell you, I feel the exact same way about her.

As a professional speaker, I travel a lot. The other night I Skyped Xanthia from my hotel room in Alabama and we had an impromptu dance party. We twirled, danced, sang and I even jumped on my hotel room bed. Afterwards, she said "Mommy when you do things like that you make me feel like you love me." I am treasuring these days. I treasure these days but I'm expecting that they will end. I am expecting that eventually she and I will have the same rocky relationship I had with my own mother.

When I shared that with Vince, he asked, "Is your relationship with your daughter now anything like your relationship with your mother when you were her age?"


"Then why are you letting your past color your future?"

It was a revelation! I was not aware I was doing that. Vince told me to declare the relationship I have with my daughter right now is the way it should be and the way it will always be. This is how mother and daughter is done. He encouraged me to write a future story not based on the past, but based on the now. On what's happening now. With tears in my eyes, I threw my arms around my friend and thanked him for helping me see that I was letting my past color my future. And now that I am aware, I can make a different choice.

As you embark upon your life, your goals and your dreams, are you letting your past color your future? If you are, I invite you to make a different choice. Create a new story for your future.

If you have any questions or comments feel free to call 323-929-7827 or email me

I look forward to hearing from you.


Star Bobatoon,

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